Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Spanking and JANGAN!!

R.U.M.A.H.K.A.M.I is currently undergoing the high current of Terrible Twos Phase of Hadiff. (more on how to handle Terrible Twos)
Almost everyday you could hear us say "JANGAN"and most of the time at the top of our lungs.
Gosh! Hadiff could be very difficult sometimes.
Wonder where he got so much of energy.
He could not sit still for even 1minutes!
Except when he was concentrating reading his book "A,O,S,T,O" or "TUJUH, LAPAN, SEMBILAN".
He could run to and fro from end of the hall to the back of the kitchen several times non stop! (But not that our kitchen pun besaq sangatkan).
Well, the victim was always Mr Asben as I might just pretending busy with Husna. :p

As a parent, we do believe that to discipline a child, spanking or physically intimidating the child should not be involved. And most of time, we tried our best refrain from spanking him.

It always started with a soft "JANGAN" then the pitch was gradually increased to

"JANGAN!JANGAN!JANGAN!" if the warning was not listened to.

Then, it followed with "Hadiff tak faham ka Abah (or Ummi) cakap jangan?"
then a wailing cry from Hadiff-->> usually I could not stop myself from saying "Jangan nangis"
Hadiff is such Radio Buruk (my sister said that) (but he is still my charming boy).
a spank or two would normally followed after that.

Is spanking healthy? How effective is spanking as a form of discipline? 

I found this beneficial articles from Parenthots. This will be my reference when it comes to handling Hadiff and may be Husna in the future.

My summary on this article and from several sources.

1- Spanking can be a healthy disciplinary act if it is for reason of disobedient and rebellion.It must be with a defined rules not because of emotion or stress.
2- Spanking must not be too gentle, if it is doesn't hurt, it will be not motivate the child to avoid consequence in the future.
3- Corporal punishment, when used lovingly and properly, is beneficial to a child because it is in harmony with nature itself.

I do believe that discipline should come with a consistent rules. NO today means it will always be NO forever. 
When I am in the "ANGRY" mood, Mr Asben will stays "COOL" and vice versa. We try to balance it so that Hadiff will know who he should turn to. So far it works with us.


Syigim said...

i pun tgh experience *terrible two* phase with my 2nd boy kahfi. naughtynya dia yaAllah,....mmg kena byk sgt sgt sabar.

but yes, i admit i spank my boys! i sgt garang, but i believe bila diorang do something nice n helpful kita mesti extra nice & sayang2 jgk :) this way they can really tell the diff between camne mak react kalo diorang naughty, n camne kalo diorang buat good deeds :)

cara didik anak ni beza2 n spank tak spank ke, terpulang pd parents n anak2 kan?

Shaza Shamsuddin said...

Rozy, Afra pun kadang-kadang sangat mencabar kesabaran. Especially waktu malam. Energy mak ayah nih dah habis, tapi dia cam bertambah2 plak. Ya rabbi, memanglah menjerit tuh skang dah jadi ulam. Tak nafilah, memang tangan i ada terhinggap kat kaki tangan Afra. Tapi I akan menyesal gila. Bukan tak mo ngajor dia, it just that, I dibesarkan dalam keadaan pukul-pukul, rotan-rotan. Yes, I jadi manusia. Tapi I juga jadi manusia yang cepat memberontak. I guess, we win some we loose some. Tatau la.. I still confuse with my way of parenting. Masih mencuba2 dengan segala macam skill yang bleh suite afra and me. :( All the best to us!

Miskin atau Kaya Bukan Batu Ukurnya

Rozy said...

syigim, syaza,

i think once in a while these charming little toddlers still kena jugak spank..i was brought up in a very strict family (fahamlaa kan my dad is a former pegawai warrant), spanking was normal to us. I guess our child shud also know that life is not really easy. They shud understand the bad consequences, they shud learn from it.

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